Corporate Monkey, Match making,part 2

Read part 1 here

"Sabapathy does'nt bite" said Mr.vishwanathan as he came out from the hall. What? Did the dog jump like a surface missile towards the gate to give me a French kiss then. I knew they all bite, and Sabapathy would be no exception to that. Never trust dogs, and dog owners too.They all say the same thing, "tommy does'nt bite, jimmy does'nt bite, laser does'nt bite", but you never know until they come and grab a piece of you. And hell, where have I heard the name Sabapathy for a dog before. Mr. Vishwanaathan was wearing an yellow t-shirt with an IT company's name with a cliched tagline, which said 'delivering excellence'(probably gifted by an NRI IT guy). Mr.Vishwanathan tied the pomeranian monster to a corner just provding enough space for a normal BMIed man to walk without getting bitten by the son of a bitch(ya, literally he is one) . Saba looked dirty and reminded me of my old white pillow which had cotton coming out of it. He looked at me with anger and kept GRRRRRRing as a sign of intimidation as I entered his territory(which he had probably marked by peeing concentric circles around the house's corridor). " Ya, GRRR to you as well,", I thought as I waved a short goodbye with my hands . If only Mr.Vishwanathan had'nt been there, I would have shown the middle finger to the dog, keeping my tongue out like him as I did that. Clearly Saba did not like being provoked and kept grrring all along.

I entered the Vishwanathan home carefully with an eye behind me, lest Saba does not suddenly jump out and bite my posterior. Their home had the typical south indian feel with the noise of a cooker welcoming you, fried chilli to choke your breath as you enter the home, the smoke of aggarbathi from the puja room,hindu paper with the solved sudoku, various gods decorating the dining table, and a giant clock set 10 minutes ahead of IST(ya, we think doing this makes us race ahead the rest of India). I stood there waiting for someone to ask me to get seated. "Make yourself Comfortable" said mr.Vishwanathan as he entered the hall. I double checked Saba's absence in the room. Somehow the dog was bothering me.


A teenge boy looking around wearing a yellow star-wars t-shirt and a pink shorts, sporting uncombed hair entered the room. This is Arjun, my son , Mr.vishwanathan said . I shook hands and said "Gopal".The boy asked asked "waat?". "My name is Gopal" I said. "Let me get you something to drink" said Mr.Vishwanathan and headed to the kitchen. Arjun took his hands from the shakehand, gave no smile and sat on the sofa adjacent to me . He took the remote, tossed it from his right hand , caught it in his left and changed the channel to jetix. 5 masked people who I doubted were trans-genders were fighting a clunky fake,metal dragon. Arjun was giving a retard smile and enjoying the show. I was disinterested and I looked on their wall where a spider was caught my attention.

The spider walked in slowly and creeped near the housefly . Just when it made the final sprint, the housefly made a quick escape.I clapped my hands out of excitement for the housefly. Arjun looked bewildered,but thankfully got back to the TV. The spider's failed breakfast attempt reminded me that I was hungry. My stomach had already given me 2 audible missed calls indicating immediate food requirement. "Padma is getting ready" Mr.Vishwanathan said as he brought a glass of water for me and sat on a wooden chair directly opposite me. "Its hot in Chennai now" said Mr.Vishwanathan, make a lame attempt at smalltalk,as he sat. I nodded to his remark. "Saw the match yesterday? , CSK semma super. That Murali played superbly",he said. "Hmmmm, ya",I nodded. I am one of the few people in the country who dont watch cricket and think we save time not watching it, and here he was trying to break the ice with a cricket topic. "Well, uncle. I dont quite watch cricket", I said. He looked amused at that and blew a puff of air ("poof") as if I had read out a sardarji joke from my sms inbox.


An old lady walked out of one of the rooms slowly. "This is my mother, Ranganayaki", he said,getting up introducing me to her. "Hi", I said to her without even a slight application of mind on how to greet elderly people. She looked offended like I had sung racial slurs and gave a nasty look. She looked like the kind of lady who would charge me for obscenity if she saw me wearing shorts in public. She took another wooden chair and sat diagonally to me. The boy was still watching power rangers with keen interest, the dragon was dead by this time. Mr. Vishwanathan said"Let me check on Padma"."Sure uncle",I said. Its been 15 minutes since I walked into their home, and still she was'nt ready. 15 minutes to get ready??, man,I could get a Hippo dressed and ready with makeup in 15 minutes.

Arjun walked out of the house for some reason and I was left alone in the room, with grandma looking at me without blinking. I wondered if I should wave my hands before her face to confirm she was concious. "What was she taking that long for?",I thought. I had come to look for a date into their home, and here I was carbon dating her grandmother. I smiled at my own creative wordplay,as I thought that line. Granny saw me smile by myself and gave another serious offensive look which probably suggested that I needed to be whipped 1000 times and banished from Madras for smiling without reason. Mr.Vishwanathan still did not return from his hunt for Padma. Probably he was googling "where is my daughter" on his laptop. I was getting more and more uncomfortable with time, especially with inactive granny relentlessly staring at me. I got back to looking at the spider . "Ha, No way are you good enough for her dude. ", said the spider,venting his frustration on me. "Ya, you wish . But the girl is mine",I replied making lame trash talk with the spider. "Get rational dude ",spidey said.

Finally Mr.Vishwanathan arrived on the scene. His daughter clad in a white salwar, with some kind of black stuff painted around her eye region like someone had punched her black and blue on the face. She did not look as pretty as in the pic(I suspect a photoshop inside job there), nevertheless. "Hi", I said giving my most possible natural smile and not knowing whether to shake hands in front of the father or not."Hi, take your seat", she said with a smile . I heard something creek, and noticed Arjun walking inside the house. To my horror I found Sabapathy with him unchained. He looked at me and gave me a look which said "Ha, there you are . So who's your daddy now?". Saba took a gasp , moved back, grrred for second, and lept forward on me. I dont remember what happened then.

It must be around a minute later, when I got back to my senses and realized that I was on the floor. "He kicked the dog,how insensitive", said Padma. Saba was on the floor completely subdued, probably even unconscious. "Ha", I said out, unfortunately a little loud as I realized my triumph over Saba. The granny,father and Padma all gave equally vicious stares. Granny kept her palm on her mouth like she had won Miss.Asia Pacific 2010. Arjun was half interested in watching Jetix and rest interested in watching me get screwed up. Spider looked at me and said "Ha ha, ROFL dude",and gave me a wink. I realized I had become the villain there. They took Saba to the Vet and I followed along in my bike.The Vet informed them that I had kicked the dog hard on the collarbone and that he needed surgery. "Sorry, it was all impulse. I did'nt mean to do that. I will pay for his surgery",I said apologizing to Mr.Vishwanathan and Padma as we walked out of CICU(Canine ICU). "Thats alright",they said although they did'nt quite mean it. I bid them an uncomfortable goodbye and left on my bike.

I earned the wrath of the family, lost to a spider, kicked a dog , and worse skipped my breakfast for the day.

And that was the last time I heard from them .


One week later....

"Look at this profile"said Mr.AnanthaNarayan to his missus.He read out "Good photo. Profile says smart, ambitious boy, well paid, 28 years old seeking Tamil Brahmin girl preferably working in software. And Wait..err..look at this, 'Family with dogs prohibited'.".

P.S: Phew, Reduced the 3 post detailing to 2 posts finally which means compromise on detailing and story flow. Thanks for all the support. Do tell me if corporate monkey should be continued as a series.

Please do comment(positive/negative) on the series. Comments are the biggest motivation to me dedicating time to write. :)